Walk down memory lane

Over the weekend I went home to my parents' place in Windsor. While I love being home and seeing my parents, sisters, friends and doggo, lately I have been feeling some FOMO associated with that. Everyone is getting older and moving upwards and onwards just like me. My parents are starting to age which is a scary concept for me to grasp on to because I know there will come a day when I will be looked at as the adult with all the answers and I guess there's some comfort in knowing that I'm not that person yet.

On Saturday, my sisters and I took a walk down memory lane to our university in the city. I spent six years there in between my bachelor and master's degree and while it felt never-ending back then, I seem to be forgetting so much of it now. I thought back to my very first year and the "frosh week" parties that went on every night for a full week. I remember that on toga night, I wrapped myself in a flat white bed sheet and accessorized with gold jewelry and went on to dance the night away at the frosh party. That night, I ended up meeting this gorgeous Romanian guy named Alex who I could have sworn was going to be my soulmate back then. I was so enamored by that steamy makeout sesh (even though the steamy part just came from the fact that we were crammed between hundreds of people in a little party tent and there was really bad b.o. in the air). He was gorgeous and confident and so tall.

Weeks later, I was coming out of the library when I ran right into him and his friends. He got down on one knee in front of me and asked me to marry him, I kid you not. I had not seen this man since our toga night makeout sesh, and all of a sudden, he's in front of me proposing. Of course I played along, acted as if this was a real proposal and yelled out "YES" in front of the whole crowd that formed around us. He then kissed me and we hungout for a bit between classes.

I think I ran into him a few more times throughout the year, following which, I don't think I ever saw him again. I would always see his friends around, but not him. Maybe he really is married by now.

As I came out of the library with my sisters the other day, I let all those memories wash over me. The nights spent on campus studying with my friends that strangely, or maybe not so strangely, never actually helped me prepare for a test. The classes I skipped because I would walk in late and laughter would fill me in an uncontrollable way and the only logical thing was to walk right out and go to 7/11 and buy a pizza instead. The time that my friend and I tried to go to a frat party but we pre-gamed too hard in the car and that was more fun to us than going to the party itself so we ended up having our own party in the car. We swore these would be the nights we would never forget and yet, here I am barely hanging on to those memories.

My sisters and I made our way to the student centre (caw) which back in the day, looked much more different. It now had a full renovation and looked very modern. I remember going there before, in between, and after every class just to see my friends when I initially started my program. I met so many people there that ended up becoming my friends. However, as time went on, I made friends in my own program, created a niche sort of group, and, by the time I was done my undergrad, I wasn't even hanging out in caw anymore. By the time that I started my master's, I mostly hungout in the grad lounge with all of my other colleagues and I thought I was rather cool because I was getting paid big bucks to just be there in the event a student had a question. Needless to say, I was shooting the shit half the time and watching netflix.

The 7/11 by the school doesn't even exist anymore. The restaurant on campus that was owned by a total hottie isn't there anymore either. Instead, Memorial Hall got a brand new façade that no longer features the sort of creepy greenery, and the restaurant turned into a burger joint. Tim Horton's in caw got completely demolished and a Starbucks sits pretty behind the service desk. I know that changes are bound to happen in order to keep the campus desirable to the new generations and while I hated my university all together from an administrative point of view, that same place houses some of my fondest memories. So many laughs, tears, kisses and hugs were exchanged on that campus. Sleepless nights and morning redbulls, running on the way to class. I started a student club on that campus, I went to movie nights on that campus, and I sure as hell partied hard.

I can't even begin to list out how many guys I had a crush on, on that campus. Alex was only one of the dozens. And so, while my heart is heavy with nostalgia over these memories that I only get to play out again in my head, I am happy that I get to have them to begin with. I was one of the lucky few to have such an incredible and notable experience in university and I made so many amazing friends and connections. Some days, I wish I could go back even just for a day. Would I look at things differently? Would I care about the same things I did back then? Other days, I am happy that the culmination of all of those lived experiences made me the person I am today.

With a heavy heart after a walk down memory lane, I was happy to just be.