The sun shines within

My fluffy purple blanket spread out on the grass, each of our shoes securing an edge from flying away. A book half read, a cup of ice cold water. The sun is out, not a cloud in sight. The wind is blowing quite strong but it feels nice to just hear the leaves ruffling in the breeze of it all. The sun touches my skin and the warmth of it feels nice. It's just nice, so nice to be here in this moment, feeling as if life is just aligning.

I spent a couple hours reading a book that I had started only a day before. I kept stretching around and taking in my surroundings. Touching the grass with my toes, watching a caterpillar just crawl around. June was a busy month with so many beautiful memories made. Slowing down and being able to take that evening doing exactly what I described above, really grounded me for the next few weeks of adventures.

As I was packing up and headed back to my apartment up the hill, I thought about wanting to write again, feeling as if my vision had cleared and I no longer felt the lack of inspiration. I've always been much more creative when I'm either in love or heartbroken, so to be able to write in the absence of either of those emotions, is just nice.

Perhaps time really does heal all wounds and perhaps a heart can be filled with so much love, and that love really doesn't have to come from a romantic interest to count as love. So many beautiful moments fill my mind now and are starting to replace the hurt and the moments where my heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. While I won't just be able to erase the hurt, at least the good is overpowering the bad and that's good enough for me.

I have no energy to focus on anything that isn't for me. In finding that peace within, I am coming to realize that whatever and whoever wants to be in my life, will just be. I have no energy to seek out attention or affection anymore, and no energy to reach out. I think I'm at peace and I like the ability to just be unapologetically me. I am my own damn sunshine and I love that.