The preface of the real thing

I've never been much of a dweller. I don't really dwell on the sad, the bad or the ugly. I don't have an explanation as to why, I just don't. My friend saw me cry for the first time yesterday since our friendship began. I cried because I was overjoyed at the fact that I was in the same room as a new born baby, one that means the world to me. I don't think I've ever been in a hospital room before with someone who had a baby less than 24 hours prior so I guess it was unexplored territory for me. When I was handed that perfect little baby, tears left my eyes and streamed slowly all the way down my cheeks because I was so insanely happy, she was so perfect. Within seconds, I was a mess crying left and right and wiping tears from my face while smiling ear to ear. That was the first time my friend saw me cry.

As we were walking back to my car, she mentioned that she had never seen me cry before and that it was a special moment. I guess I do put a hard front up but I also guess I have reasons for that. She asked me how I deal with break ups if I don't cry...or do I cry? I am totally not a robot so yeah I cry but I try to limit it to one time, when the initial break up happens. At that time, I let all of myself fully hit rock bottom, cry it all out until I can't cry no more, and then I start picking myself up. In reality, crying about it for days, weeks, months after, doesn't really do anything for me at least, so I just don't. I'm sure this is easier said than done for all of you who might be more emotional than me but I try not to dwell on the hurt too much. Now disclaimer, that does not mean that I am not still hurt.

I still am hurt about a lot of things, people, situations, etc.

Just because I don't cry about it, doesn't mean I don't still hurt.

With that being said, it's probably good to make another disclaimer. Just because I don't post the hurt, does not mean that I am not in that position. Just because I look like I'm living my best life in pictures and stories, it does not mean you are getting the full story of my life. Now again, some of this might confuse you so I will make another disclaimer. Just because on the surface I look like I'm having fun, that does not mean that I am not having fun and that the whole thing is a facade or fake. Let's be real, I can go to an event and have the best time of my life, post about it, truly take in the moment, and still get sad or in my head at the end of the night when thoughts and memories creep in of things I would rather forget.

With social media's effect on our day-to-day living, our lives have become little highlight snippets that make our followers perceive us in a certain way. The thing is, that you can't win with social media. If you post the good, people think you live a perfect life unable to experience sadness. If you post the bad, people think you're seeking attention or crying wolf. If you don't post at all, you're pretty much a ghost. There really isn't a balance to be had.

I guess that the piece of advice I would give in all of this is to try to get to know someone outside of what is being posted. If the only way you keep up with your friends is by watching their stories and thinking "oh yeah they're looking like they're living the best summer ever I'm sure they're good", maybe check in on them and see if that is actually the case. Social media is beautiful in the sense that it allows us a close lens view into the lives of those around us, but don't forget that this is never the full story. There is always more.