Summer flings and ending things

Summers in Toronto are literally my favourite. I always take my vacation time in the winter and prefer to work during the summer just so I can stay in the city and live my absolute best life. The city is so vibrant with so many events going on, night life, you name it. Summers in Toronto are just superior.

That being said, dating sucks in the summer. I mean… dating sucks in general but even more so in the summer (and especially in Toronto). I just quite frankly hate giving my time to anyone because I value authenticity and real connections and anything less than that gives me the ick. I find that dating in the city is superficial and it has been rather difficult to come across someone that sparks my interest in a manner outside of the basic get-to-know-you conversations. I need more. I need witty banter and conversations that make me forget that I had something else to do because I have been engulfed in a conversation that is just that great. It has been some time since someone has sparked my interest like that. No shade to all the guys that might be reading this who might be trying to shoot their shot.

But it's summer and just like me, everyone is trying to live their absolute best life. It's hard to fully give yourself to someone when you'd rather be out tanning your bum cheeks on the beach or hanging with the girlies (or the boys, whatever your heart desires). The summer is for summer flings, light hearted drinks and Europe trips. It's for festivals and kissing cute boys in the bar.

I have three trips booked before the end of the year. Three trips that I want to live out to the absolute fullest. My problem with that right now is that my desire to live out the trips is definitely deterring me from wanting to create this “real” connection with anyone. Let me explain. I made plans for myself. Ever since last year, I started planning for me and my enjoyment, which has been so fricken nice. I go places and experience life in the most authentic way I can. I meet people and spend days and nights with them and fall in love in every country. It’s just part of the experience, I’d say. To some extent, I’d like to continue doing that. I like the freedom of talking to anyone I want, throwing in a little flirting if I want, sharing a meal or a drink with them if I want. I think it’s so neat to form a connection in a different country (even if short term) because it shapes the memory of that place. It gives that place a little something extra to be remembered by.

On the other hand, don’t get me wrong about any of these things cause if you know me, you know damn well I am a sucker for romance in general. If I meet someone and they’re exactly the person I want to meet, well then, I guess I will happily say my goodbyes to the international flings. I am way too loyal and way too busy to actually entertain the idea of multiple people at once. The fact is that obviously being on my own can get lonely, I mean, of course it does. But I’d rather feel some temporary loneliness because I am actually on my own, than to give my time to someone who will make me feel alone all the time. I have done that one too many times and quite frankly, I value my time and mental health all too much now to make that mistake again.

All in all, summer flings are fun, dating can be fun (although I don’t really think so) but ending things can be one of the best feelings. Keep in mind that your time on this earth is limited. Don’t give your time so freely to people who will use and abuse it. Be alone – sometimes it’s better to be alone than with the wrong person. Fall in love a million times if you have to. Having love stories is beautiful (while they are). Become the person that you want to be before you give yourself to someone. Figure out what’s important to you and what your non-negotiables are. If you don’t know these things about yourself, it can be easy to lose sight of who you are in a relationship and we don’t want that.

If you take anything away from this, let it be the following:

We are only young once and as much as your goals matter and they help shape who you are trying to become, don't forget to live. Don't let your 20's be reminiscent of a relationship you stayed in far too long, working and studying until burnout or failed to take a risk because you were scared to fail. There is no better time than now to make the mistakes that might change your whole trajectory in life (in a good way, pls don't get yourself jailed up). Let yourself experience life, love, happiness, sadness, and everything in between. Live and love and be loved in return, but really, just live.