Stuck in my own head

I am sure I am not the only one who overthinks. Everyone does it. It is like second nature. There are days when I do not question a single thing, and others where I feel the need to know everything from the moment of conception and until the present moment. There are days when I cry because I am fully aware that I am overreacting but I cannot help the feeling of helplessness. It can be a scary thing to be stuck inside your own head without a way of expressing what you are feeling.

For me it is the lack of activity that gives me way too much time to think and reflect. I generally am pretty busy in my every day life and have little time to think or ponder over certain aspects of my life. I am also generally surrounded by individuals and involved in conversation which allows for reflection but not deep one. And then, there are days when I have absolutely nothing going on. No chores, no tasks to complete, and nowhere to be. And that is the easiest way to get stuck inside your own head.

It starts with a thought about the future. Something I aim to have accomplished by a certain point in time. I start to wonder whether what I am thinking about is possible or if it is just something I would ideally like to accomplish. My brain moves on. I think about twenty years from now when I am inside my own house with my own kids. Do I have kids? Is my husband faithful? My brain moves on. What are you doing next year? Have you decided where you are taking your life forward? Are you going to be travelling? Are you going to live or will you just settle for being alive?

I take a deep breath.

Why am I thinking about all of this? I am aware it is aspects of my life I have little control over currently and should be thinking about my immediate actions as opposed to years from now. I am going bonkers.

I sigh

I need to find something to do before my brain starts exploring again.