Scattered thoughts

The days are slowly getting longer and when I get out of work at 5pm, I drive towards the sun as it is setting. Most days it annoys me because I can't see anything on the road when it is beating into my eyes. Yesterday, I appreciated it instead. My music was loud, my window was down (while I was blaring heat in the car of course). The sky was free of clouds and it felt good. It's pretty easy to make me happy since I find joy in the tiniest things.

As I was driving, I came to notice the little things around me. An elderly couple walking hand-in-hand, a nice design on a house. The sun was beating down on me and I felt warm. It was a good feeling.

I began thinking about how much I long for an ease in restrictions. To see my friends, to be able to see my love again. I longed for a hug. It feels like it's been forever since I hugged someone. I know it sounds almost silly, but I don't see anyone anymore. I wanted to romanticize the idea of a life that feels like it was lived literally a lifetime ago.

I drive by the lake most mornings and I feel oddly melancholic. I guess I associate bodies of water with warmer weather. It's almost March and the anticipated beginning of spring season. Trees will dress up in their leafy green attires yet again. Flowers will bloom and fill the world with colour. The past few months have very much felt like I have been merely going through the motions, eyes forward. I guess it tends to happen when the days are so short and night seems to take over with no ability of having a night life.

I am a positive person and I feel like I say this a lot, but the last little while has proven rather difficult in terms of maintaining that positive attitude always. I guess I miss life.

Every weekend, I try to do something that will restore my energy to get through yet another week. I have been saying for a few days that perhaps this weekend, I want to go near a body of water. Be by the lake or something.

Here's to better days