Putting feelings into words or whatever

The more experiences I come across, the more I am starting to realize that I am absolutely terrible at expressing myself in person as opposed to through text, when I have time to think and choose my words appropriately. I think part of it has to do with the language barrier that I am still trying to overcome on the daily. Yes, I know I am fully fluent in English, but sometimes, the fact that a different language is my mother tongue, is actually impeding my ability to be sensible in the way I address other people in English. It mostly happens when I am nervous, taken by surprise or frustrated, that I end up saying things or wording them in such a way that if I were to say sit still for a moment and have time to collect my thoughts, I would probably say them differently.

Most recently, I have been having conversations where I feel strongly about something but because I am confronted with the topic in person or over a facetime call, I choose not to express myself and my desires on the topic because I fear saying the wrong thing and then word vomit etc etc etc.

That in turn ends up being TERRIBLE for me cause I always have something to say and if I choose not to say it, I'm definitely holding back and then I end up thinking about the things I could have said or should have said and it drives me insaaaaaaane. I guess I probably need to get better at that.

Someone should probably keep me accountable and call me out on my bullshit when I don't say something or I half-assedly answer something, because there's a 99.9% chance there's a whole lot more on my mind than what I say out loud.