Outgrow and evolve

The thought of outgrowing anything is one hell of a bittersweet thought. To know that you are on a path of growth is a good thing of course. Great even. Everyone ideally wants to grow and be better and more self-fulfilled. The problem with growth is that in order to embark on that journey, you often have to leave behind the things that made you comfortable, the things and people you created memories with, the things and people that you no longer have room for, the ones you outgrow.

Sometimes you might even outgrow things and people you weren't ready to outgrow or let go of. That happens too and that bittersweet feeling is more so bitter that sweet, but I guess it's all just part of a process.

It takes courage to sit down with yourself and identify what no longer serves you. It also takes courage to get up and do something about it. We often become complacent in our day-to-day life because it's comfortable and there isn't an immediate need for change. I was stuck in that sort of rut until about two weeks ago when someone asked me if I was fulfilled with where I was in life at that very moment. I hadn't asked that question of myself much in the past year and I guess a part of me was going with the flow because I used to over exhaust myself by actively always trying to change something. The goal for the year was more so to try to get back out there and live, given that a lot of life was taken away from me during the pandemic. I had that sort of plan in mind but didn't really strive for anything significantly better.

I had to sit down with myself and write down what I am unhappy about and what I think needs active changing or at least active thinking and planning about. I came up with some things and I have started the journey. It turns out that while not everything needs to do a 180 flip and change, some things I am unhappy about just require evolving.

Earlier this year I was talking to someone who was constantly looking to grow and challenge himself in all areas of life. At first, I found that to be a little exhausting and I even remember telling him that if he constantly pushes himself to do better and be better, that he will never be fully satisfied. I kinda wished he woulda slapped some sense into me then because I only now realize how much of what I was saying was really my complacency speaking. I was not growing then even though I should have and I should have supported his growth. It's kind of cool how growth also means accepting that you can be wrong and learning from that and giving yourself grace through making those errors. Of course that being obsessed with growth and self-betterment can also be toxic to the point of never fully being satisfied but I think now, looking back, he was just trying to make sure that his purpose in life was met. That he would be satisfied 5 or 10 or 15 years from now for taking the steps he was taking in the present.

I know now how important it is to keep moving and not get stuck in one place for too long. Growth comes from within and you have that power to make a change whether big or small, whether for yourself or for others. Just make sure you don't stop growing and expanding your horizons because life will be a whole lot duller otherwise.