Necessary isolation

Over the past week or so, I have felt the need to be on my own. Unbothered, not social.

I felt the need to take a break from all sorts of conversation, social gatherings, and events. Instead, I felt the need to be alone and focus on myself a bit. A little bit of meditation, some movie nights on my own, and some freeing of head space. I have been so tense for months that I just need to get out of my own head. Be around just the people closest to me.

It is nice to be alone sometimes. No one to bother you, nothing to impact your way of thinking other than yourself. At the same time, I feel selfish. There are people who want to discuss things with me. Ideas, thoughts, and so on. I have been so dry with everyone the past week just so I avoid conversation.

I have been dealing with a lot lately. A lot of stress, a lot of anxiety, and things that are out of my control. I have been trying to make ends meet, to give myself equally to all who need me. But it got to be too much. I was forcing myself to tend to everyone and everything and I was not doing it for myself. I was doing it for others. I was not happy.

Above all else, I need to be selfish for my own happiness. I need to give a bit of focus to the things I enjoy doing and do those exact things. Isolation was part of it. It was something I needed to do in order to get myself back on track.

I think a lot of times we do not do things for ourselves because we think that there are other issues that are more pressing. That is so wrong. Our mental health is so much more important than catering to everyone else and their needs.

I need some "me" time and if that is what isolating myself means, I am prepared to keep doing it unapologetically.