Co-dependence as a drug

I remember that at the beginning of the year in 2017, I walked into the year feeling absolutely invincible. I wanted to jump out of my comfort zone, explore things and places I had never been to before, and most of all, I wanted to live. That year I ended up going on one of the most transformative trips of my life.

Now, you might wonder why it was so important? Because I did it alone.

Ever since then, I can't say I've done too cool of stuff. I spent most of 2018 and 2019 preparing for my move to Toronto and once I got here, the pandemic hit and I only fully got to enjoy the city for a few months. I did a couple of trips to the States and a couple domestic ones during the pandemic and they were fun don't get me wrong, but I feel like to some extent, I became complacent in my living.

This year, I made it somewhat of a goal to come back to that spontaneity and re-gain that zest for life. It started out with two trips that were supposed to be solo but friends ended up joining, and a couple other day trips out of town that I even did on my own.

With August halfway done and memories still left to be made, last weekend I took a solo day trip to a nearby city to see a live theatrical play and it was incredible. While there, I really thought about co-dependence. I do think that travelling is better in a group or at least with one other companion. I am not denying that. However, in the absence of having that luxury of a companion, I think it is so sad that most of us are so co-dependent that we would rather miss out on an opportunity than go alone.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have missed out on trips, adventures, experiences, the whole nine yards, because someone couldn't commit to a plan or they dropped out of it last minute. What I should have prioritized at that time is the memories I could have made in the absence of these people. This is not to say that anyone is a bad person because they're not and I understand that adulting is different for everyone. I just mean that in the past, I wish I had more confidence in myself to keep going with a plan in the absence of not having someone to do it with me.

Needless to say, I am out here again creating a life for myself that I desire.

So surprise!!! I just booked a one way ticket to Europe hehehehehehe