Knowledge is key

I think it is so important to know things. Whether they are small fun facts or a piece of information that can aid your entire life, knowledge is knowledge. I recently started reading the news every morning before starting my work day to get a better understanding of the world around me. There are so many things happening every single day around us that we just do not know about, not because we do not want to know, but many times we get so wrapped up in our own lives, that we give little importance to everything else.

It is crazy to think that wherever you may be in the world, is just a small fraction of this huge mess. Whatever corruption you think is in your own city, is just one small piece of this world wide game of chess between powerful world actors. And us, the average and everyday citizens have no clue about.

This is not a political post by any means, but rather an "open your eyes and read about the world around you" type of post. Reading becomes an essential part of this knowledge. You cannot know about the deeper more important things happening if all you do is read your social media platforms. Open a news site.. any one. You do not have to look at the world events necessarily. You can even look at the lifestyle section. Read about how other people around the globe spend their Wednesday afternoon. Learn about a different culture. Learn a new word.

Knowledge is so essential. I encourage you to get more informed. Read and become more active. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Adulting of sorts

At the beginning of every fall season, my sisters and I have a sort of tradition where when we get into the car together, we often listen to songs by Jon Bellion. We call it "fall feels". It is rather wholesome because we have been doing it for years on end.

I happened to have a song by him come on my shuffle list this morning as I was heading into work. I generally skip it because I save those songs to listen to with my sisters, but today, I indulged and gave it a listen. It put me on a wave of nostalgia as I had some revelations about where I was and where I am going. Last year, was the first fall season that I was away from my family. However, it was on purpose because I was starting a new degree in a new city. This year, I am here, in a different city, by choice. I do not have to be here any longer but I choose to be.

I often get scared about this concept of adulting because I still feel like I am faking it until I make it. I often also wonder if others feel the same. Does adulting come naturally to anyone? I wonder.

As the leaves start turning and the cold breeze takes over the city, I wonder if I will ever return home permanently. Part of me hopes not because I would close doors to myself in some ways, and part of me wonders what else is out there for me. The world might be my oyster as they say, but it feels rather gigantic and overwhelming. I often wonder if I am paving my way to something in particular, or if I am really indulging in smelling the roses on the way. Either way, I guess it is time to start thinking more like an adult.

Necessary isolation

Over the past week or so, I have felt the need to be on my own. Unbothered, not social.

I felt the need to take a break from all sorts of conversation, social gatherings, and events. Instead, I felt the need to be alone and focus on myself a bit. A little bit of meditation, some movie nights on my own, and some freeing of head space. I have been so tense for months that I just need to get out of my own head. Be around just the people closest to me.

It is nice to be alone sometimes. No one to bother you, nothing to impact your way of thinking other than yourself. At the same time, I feel selfish. There are people who want to discuss things with me. Ideas, thoughts, and so on. I have been so dry with everyone the past week just so I avoid conversation.

I have been dealing with a lot lately. A lot of stress, a lot of anxiety, and things that are out of my control. I have been trying to make ends meet, to give myself equally to all who need me. But it got to be too much. I was forcing myself to tend to everyone and everything and I was not doing it for myself. I was doing it for others. I was not happy.

Above all else, I need to be selfish for my own happiness. I need to give a bit of focus to the things I enjoy doing and do those exact things. Isolation was part of it. It was something I needed to do in order to get myself back on track.

I think a lot of times we do not do things for ourselves because we think that there are other issues that are more pressing. That is so wrong. Our mental health is so much more important than catering to everyone else and their needs.

I need some "me" time and if that is what isolating myself means, I am prepared to keep doing it unapologetically.