The Importance of the Present

I feel like we all have a broad understanding of the present and what it entails. I mean there really is not any time like it and it is weird when you lose that time because you cannot ever re-create it. I have recently noticed that it is increasingly hard to concentrate my full attention towards an aspect of the present, because I am continuously thinking about things concerning my future.

The ever most upsetting part of it is that while the present should be fully savoured, the actions or words being said in that moment are not fully appreciated. How do I know this?

Think about it. Think about a conversation you had maybe even an hour ago. While you remember the essentials, you do not remember every word that came out of your mouth and the persons you were talking to. You remember parts of the conversation, but not every move of the body, or every facial expression. Why?

Because in the moment, you are only concerned with a reaction. You are not fully taking in the conversation, the person you are conversing with, their body language or emotions shown. And that is so important.

When we think about the future, we are so concerned with the path to getting there, the end product and the steps necessary to bring us to that path. We forget to worry about what the present has in store for us. We worry about reaching the end of the path and forget to look around and take in our surroundings.

The present is so important, I only wish to learn to appreciate it more.

Summer games

I have previously discussed generational changes and the way in which relationships vary from what they were to what they are. I have come to a conclusion which is that I am an old soul stuck in a generation of games, deceit, and lies. Do not get me wrong, all of this may have happened in the old times as well, but now, I feel like our generation glorifies it all. And again, do not get me wrong because I have likely partook in this trend myself at some point in time.

There is no such thing as taboo subjects which to some extent is a good thing because it allows for free interpretation and speech. However, it also gives the false impression that since something is no longer taboo, it is also acceptable to do and flaunt.

This most definitely applies to relationships and the fact that they are no longer about two people loving each other and supporting each other through thick and thin. Our generation has allowed for easy detachment from the responsibilities of a relationships because we rely heavily on "side things" and finding a replacement quickly via "tinder" or associating apps.

The truth is that yes, a relationship is a lot of work. You need to have two individuals equally invested in making it work who are willing to work through arising issues and solve them together without giving up on one another. You need to have trust and somebody who is not "playing games". Somebody who does not have "side things" and is not only "seeing you or talking to you". We are the generation of labels that are so much more intricate than what used to exist. There is no longer just your basic single or in a relationship. All the while, in the previous post I discussed the other intervening factors such as race and religion which with the trends of today, serve as the cherry on top of a shit show.

And it is just so confusing.

In the summer, people like to have "summer flings" which are expected to end by fall because people go back to school and have other things more important to worry about. Feelings get hurt.

The winter is "cuffing season" which is the time to find someone to cuddle with while watching movies by the fireplace. But even that, if it is not serious, is supposed to end before Christmas so that you do not have to buy that person a present and make this "thing" look more serious than it actually is.

It really sounds messed up does it not?

And yet, we are so accustomed to this trend of life that it seems almost weird if somebody wants a true relationship with only one person. More than that, it seems weird if people assume that their counterpart might also be in this for the same reason. And then we become subject to even more labels. If a guy is looking for a relationship and the girl is not, he becomes "whipped". If a girl is looking for something serious and approaches it as such, she becomes "crazy", "obsessive", "possessive". It never ends.

And then, you reach an age. Usually your late 20's when you start to realize that you are getting a little too old to keep "playing games" and you want to settle down. You want to move out and perhaps build a home with someone. But by that time, a lot of people have gone through stuff. Trust issues, a form of PTSD from failed "things".

And all of these things are products that are brought into that new relationship you would like to approach.

Is this a recipe for disaster?

Generational differences

I think we can all agree that the world we live in today is not nearly the same as the world that was twenty years ago. What is even crazier is that in the past twenty years, the standard of living and technological boom have been so prominent that we as the generation born in the 90's, are having a hard time adjusting to.

Sure we are technologically bred and have seen it evolve since the beginning. The problem is that we are literally the guinea pigs to this project and its ramifications. We are here to experience first-hand what it is like to have a phone that only works in black and white and then somehow evolves to the point where the phone talks to you and you can respond hands-free. It is a crazy time to live in.

However, this generation does not stop at the simple fact that technology is shaping our every day lives. No. It is so much more than that.

Our generation (and yes I mean us 90's babies) are also usually the first generation to break culture and tradition. We are the products of immigrant parents and first to create ties to a new land. Many of us are born in a country with strong tradition and end up moving to a western country with our family for better financial security. This has become the norm. Immigration is booming, the world is seeing new colours. It is an exceptional time to be living and be alive.

And so we move to a western country that is used to being accepting of many cultures, traditions, religions, ways of living. We initially experience a sort of culture shock because maybe our previous country was not very diverse or many people spoke just one language and not many. We adapt nonetheless.

And then it comes time to live. We make new friends many of them from different backgrounds than ourselves and that is great. We have debates and sometimes we do not agree with each other's opinion but that is simply because of the places we come from and the experiences we had.

And then one day we fall in love. And it is not someone from our background. It is someone of a different skin colour, with a different cultural background, and a different religion. And that becomes an issue. Our parents are used to marrying within the same culture and that has never been an issue before. While some parents might be understanding of the fact that social norms are changing, others are not.

Some kids end up wanting to please their parents and so they accept to find someone with the same background. Other kids end up threatening to cut all familial ties in order to be with their loved ones. And then some parents just accept it.

I am not entirely sure which way is the right way. What I know is one thing:

We are the first generation to pursue relationships outside of our cultural norms and it is a shit show. There really is no other way to describe it. We are the guinea pigs again just as we were for technological advancement. It is this exact action of mingling that will be the make it or break it factor towards a transparent society that is all accepting of one another. It is hard to say whether this will matter twenty years from now. Whether religion will still be relevant or just a spiritual deed. We are opening the doors to acceptance. We are trying to show that love is love on all surfaces. It does not matter where you come from or what your past is like.

The only sad thing is that, although this is a noble act for many of us, we are the experiment. We are the ones that are trying this first-hand to see if it works. It might not and maybe twenty years from now we will still be in this very spot. Wondering if love works outside of our cultural boundaries.

We are the experimental generation.