Friends and foes

Friends are a beautiful thing. They are a gift and a privilege to have. They are the people that carry you through some of your toughest moments and don't expect anything in return. However, sometimes friends become foes and that is a whole other ball game.

We all tell secrets or share them or keep things from someone for one reason or another. We all do it, there's really no shame in that. Who do we share those secrets with? Usually our friends. We share secrets with our friends with the expectation that the said secret will stay between the two of you because perhaps, sensitive information may be at stake. We're human however, and when we're told not to tell anyone, we usually still share it with perhaps our partner, another close friend, the people we "trust". Well now that has the potential of becoming a bigger problem right?

What if this sensitive information gets in the hands of someone we don't trust fully or if their trust is contingent on the fact that they are a third party friend connected to the initial friend and those two stop being friends? Well, your secret has the potential of slipping through the cracks and becoming public knowledge. Oops.

My advice to you is to be careful what you share with the world and when those secrets could come and bite you in the booty because you left tracks that point to an "I know what you did last summer" type of scenario. Not everyone is as good of a friend as you might think and more often than not, when a friendship ends, the secrets come spilling out.

Co-dependence as a drug

I remember that at the beginning of the year in 2017, I walked into the year feeling absolutely invincible. I wanted to jump out of my comfort zone, explore things and places I had never been to before, and most of all, I wanted to live. That year I ended up going on one of the most transformative trips of my life.

Now, you might wonder why it was so important? Because I did it alone.

Ever since then, I can't say I've done too cool of stuff. I spent most of 2018 and 2019 preparing for my move to Toronto and once I got here, the pandemic hit and I only fully got to enjoy the city for a few months. I did a couple of trips to the States and a couple domestic ones during the pandemic and they were fun don't get me wrong, but I feel like to some extent, I became complacent in my living.

This year, I made it somewhat of a goal to come back to that spontaneity and re-gain that zest for life. It started out with two trips that were supposed to be solo but friends ended up joining, and a couple other day trips out of town that I even did on my own.

With August halfway done and memories still left to be made, last weekend I took a solo day trip to a nearby city to see a live theatrical play and it was incredible. While there, I really thought about co-dependence. I do think that travelling is better in a group or at least with one other companion. I am not denying that. However, in the absence of having that luxury of a companion, I think it is so sad that most of us are so co-dependent that we would rather miss out on an opportunity than go alone.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have missed out on trips, adventures, experiences, the whole nine yards, because someone couldn't commit to a plan or they dropped out of it last minute. What I should have prioritized at that time is the memories I could have made in the absence of these people. This is not to say that anyone is a bad person because they're not and I understand that adulting is different for everyone. I just mean that in the past, I wish I had more confidence in myself to keep going with a plan in the absence of not having someone to do it with me.

Needless to say, I am out here again creating a life for myself that I desire.

So surprise!!! I just booked a one way ticket to Europe hehehehehehe

Only dead fish go with the flow

Over the weekend, my roommate had a few friends over for a get together. It actually ended up being really nice and I got to meet so many great and kind-hearted people. Towards the end of the night, I was having a conversation with one of the guys and we were discussing relationships and our current status of where we are at in life in that regard. I told him that I'm sort of going with the flow because I'm still not over a recent situation and I was debating whether or not dating while not being over someone is counter-productive.

He said something that has been stuck in my head ever since:

"I'm totally with you with the whole go with the flow thing because I think that's what a lot of people are doing and it's probably better to do that than to make any rash decisions. However, someone once told me this and I will share it with you and you do with it as you please: only dead fish go with the flow."

It's been stuck in my head ever since because I can't quite grasp on to what I want this to mean to me.

I don't really have an answer and I'm not really sure yet how to go about any of it but I'm putting this out there for all of you reading because perhaps this will serve a purpose to you.