I think about this a lot.
Breathe.
What I want and how to go about getting it.
The stress, the anxiety.
The giddiness that follows.
Emotions everywhere.
I’ve waited so long.
They tell me to breathe.
One, two, three, four, inhale.
Breathe.
You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Or so they say.
One thought after another.
One worry after the other.
BREATHE.
Let it all fall into place.
Exhale.
You’re okay.
Last summer I had a visitor. Someone I would not generally hangout with and someone who had not been entirely present in my life until that point in time. Part of it was spontaneity and another part was indulgence. Or so I thought.
To be completely honest, I had not put much thought into it. I kind of went with the flow and did not really take into account what this might mean... if anything. I just thought that it might be nice to see a friendly face in the city given that I did not have many friends yet.
And so said visitor came over to my new apartment in my new city and instantly I felt as if even though we are not one and the same, our chemistry was good. We shared a lot of knowledge throughout the weekend and one thing in particular stood out to me. One of the pieces of knowledge shared with me was about "the yes theory" and the belief in seeking discomfort. As it was explained, I got to understand that while spontaneity plays a huge part in our decisions, it is overcoming the fear of the unknown that is actually leading us towards making certain decisions.
For example, even though me and said visitor had no particular history at all, he drove five hours to me just to hangout for a few days. Realistically speaking, he could have done anything else, but he chose the one thing that was making him uncomfortable and he went through with it. In the end, it turned out to be a decision that was for the best. A new friendship was created, alongside a stream of memories.
Seeking discomfort is literally just the overcoming of fears. Previous judgements of a particular experience being diminished.
Seek discomfort. Conquer your fears. Say yes.
Somebody once told me that there are actual benefits to quitting. Quitting a job, a task, a stress in your life. Quitting for the moment or in the long run.
Quitting school, a relationship, or a habit whether healthy or unhealthy.
This kind of got me thinking.
We are usually taught that quitting is not the answer. It is the action of the weak and it rarely produces positive outcomes. We are taught that quitting is not something to flaunt because it is as if we had given up on ourselves and the very notion of succeeding at a given task.
However, that somebody told me today that there is nothing wrong with quitting. Why go on performing a certain task if you are not receiving positive results or at least the results you wanted?
Say you have a job. A job that pays well but you absolutely hate it. You hate it so much that every night you come home, you contemplate why you keep returning to it day in and out. It stresses you out and you just want to be done with it.
So why not quit? There are so many opportunities out there. Sometimes the pay does not make up for the agony in your life that your job creates. This actually happened to me recently. I was contemplating quitting a job because I hated it. It was a rather prestigious role and I should be thankful that I had gotten it in the first place. I hated it so much that I wanted to not only quit, but get a different job in a role that has absolutely nothing to do with my educational background and would put me significantly below my pay grade. I did not know what to do and I ended up talking to my boss. He urged me not to quit, but instead restructure my position in a way that would determine me to stay and be happy. I ended up staying but sometimes I still wonder if I truly love my position or if I am just comfortable and do not want to seek discomfort. by finding a different job.
Quitting is associated with the actions of the weak. But maybe what is weak is the fact that we stay in a harmful environment just to prove a point. Destroying your own potential and happiness out of fear of the unknown is weak.
Quitting is not weak. Sometimes it is just the logical thing to do.