It's too hard.
Pretending.
I say one thing but mean another.
I'm okay.
But really, I want to get out of here faster.
I miss it.
The freedom.
Taking the city in and fantasizing.
The future.
Our future.
I guess I really miss it.
It ended before it even started.
Now I'm left here wondering.
This future.
Our future.
Is it ever happening?
We talk.
Not much.
But nothing is the same.
I know.
You know.
It's all part of a game.
This future.
Our future.
I'll leave it up to fate.
You move. I watch.
I move and you absorb me.
Attention to detail, thinking three steps ahead.
You tempt me, analyze me.
You wonder if I can keep up.
I keep my cards hidden, show what I have when I must.
You're impressed.
You want more.
We move to the rhythm of the music, step by step, beat by beat.
Strategy, thought and conflict.
We collide and lose something.
Maybe a fear, a mindless infraction.
You come closer. A state of upheaval.
A move too soon, a clear mistake.
A step too far, I miss you.
We're nothing more than two lost souls finding ourselves with every move.
The song comes to an end.
Everyone is gone. Just you and I.
I crave your touch once more, yet, I let go.
One of us must walk away.
Check mate.
I often feel like when somebody is doing worse than me, I am expected to share in their pain and keep my fortune to myself. They are doing worse so I have to be sympathetic. While my attempts at cheering a person up may be futile, it is worth a try right? Yet, I feel like I constantly get hit with the "you wouldn't know cause you're not going through it". I mean no shit I am not going through it but I am here to try and help am I not?
Negative Nancy type of people really irk me because I try to be rather optimistic and hopeful for things and events and they just seem to shit on a parade. They seem to want you to apologize for being happier than them. But come on... I should not have to apologize for being happy, for wanting things to be better, or better yet, for being better. I know that may sound a little insensitive but I feel like the only people that will get offended by that are the exact people I am writing about.
I get it, everybody has their own battle to fight and while I truly empathize with that, it is hard not to get irritated when you try to be a good person and someone constantly throws their misfortune in your face.
I was lucky and privileged enough to have it better sure, but you will not see me throw that luck nor privilege in anyone's face, the same way they throw their misfortune in mine. No, I do not want to be negative and think of the worst. No you are not being realistic, you are being plain old negative. Snap out of it and maybe try to be aware that maybe even those who are happy and optimistic took a while to get there and you are the reason that their faith is diminishing.
Stop being a grump and smile.